Hello all. Thanks for your continued support, words of encouragement and most importantly, abundant prayers. Please stay vigilant for me if you do anything at all. I believe in all my heart to have God hear my pleas to keep me safe.
It is easist to fight when you feel you are making progress and you feel you are moving forward, but I had a hard lesson in trying to do too much yesterday. I tried to stay awake and alert, but by bedtime, my entire left side (arm and leg) went dead at 11 p.m. and it was beyond scary. I want to push myself to heal, but after that episode, we've decided more daily naps and less awake time is what is needed for the brain to rest. We assume the swelling is what is causing the episodes.
My emotions are in an ok place - they are up and down as to be expected. When I have the backslide episodes, I break down in fear and frustration. A friend sent me this note that is a strength for me now: "Adversity is God's most effective tool to grow us. What seems to tear us down actually builds us up. Disappointment is inevitable, but discouragement is a choice."
I am beyond blessed to have my parents, brother and close friends jumping into help. I am worried about my parents most as this has changed their routine dramatically as I require constant care. I need nothing outside of what they do for me, but they could use breaks, food and an escape from the house in the next weeks - even if it is for a golf or tennis game. Mom cooks totally different meals for me - nothing bad per my request so a break in the kitchen for their meals might be welcome. Just ask them. And thanks ti Denise and Anne, they are covering my mail, cats and home. God bless you both.
Again, say all your prayers for us all. That's the biggest gift I need. Pray for the MRI on July 1 so we can see our radiation options. Pray for the one and done gamma knife radiation treatment. Pray the cells NEVER regrow and that I will be one I of those 70% survivors in 10 years. Pray for the return of my body strength. I don't need to run a marathon ever, but just to walk normal again and feel good and strong.
More to write later, but be assured I will be giving you my thoughts on living my happiest life in living every minute for now and not waiting until something seems like it is the right time to put in place. Planning is great, but waiting on things makes no sense to me now. Live each day with complete utter joy and let go of petty annoyances and disagreements is a great mantra. Let that be my gift to you - to love with every fiber of your being to all walks of life. Look for the good in people. It will astound you.
Love,
Marcy
Thoughts and even more prayers heading your way.
ReplyDeleteI totally understand your desire to push yourself. But a few years back, my doctor told me that after surgery was the time "to put your superwoman cape away for a bit" and let your body heal. I learned the lesson the hard way too - I just about literally had to be put down for a nap each day or else I'd end up exhausted and crying like a 3-year-old over the simplest things.
ReplyDeleteWhat does the doctor say about the intermittant numbness?
ReplyDeleteHello Marcy,
ReplyDeleteI don't believe you and I have ever met, but your boss man and I go way back. If you need a smile I will tell stories on him. I am Steve Barkdoll GM at Phoenix Racing. I have had many challenges in my family like yours, and I want you to know how incredible your story is!! I have read the support you have through family and friends and know that it is God at work. Their part isn't easy, but they all want to do more and you have to let them. Lets start by saying my mother is a 27 year survivor of breast cancer and it was in 12 of 14 lymph nodes. She is a strong 74 year young woman today. Miracles not only happen they are lived. When my wife was battling cancer a good friend told me "God loves your heart" That is so true and so inspiring! Marcy, GOD LOVES YOUR HEART!!!!
Thanks for your messages, your encouragement, and that smile! You are loved by many I can tell, now add one more to that list!
God loves your heart,
Steve XOXO
sbarkdoll@gmail.com
Marcy, I am so proud of you and I am so proud to be your cousin .... your words are so meaningful - I have always looked for the good in others and you have a very bright light of goodness which attracts good people in your life ... Most of all, I have been praying for you and your parents. I wish I lived closer, I would be more than glad to give them time to rest .... love you ... I am sending prayers to you daily ♥ Love, Amanda Scott Carpenter
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