Frustrated

I received a call yesterday from the nurse assigned to me at Piedmont. She called me to confirm an appointment at the wellness center, and the she told me, that I was the patient of the day discussed at Piedmont’s Tumor Board. Each week all the oncologists, lymphatic specialists and doctors get together to discuss a case (my name was never mentioned, but the nurse knew it was me due to the “dove bar” underneath my arm). It is nice to know that there were lots of people interested in my case and many doctors able to give insight. They determined my case “special” due to the way my cancer presented itself. It didn’t present itself in a tumor. The mass was deep in my breast and kept expelling the bad cells, to which the lymph node under my arm kept catching. It was doing its job – to capture waste and process it through the lymph system. However, this lymph node did such a great job catching the cells, which is why it grew so big. A lymphatic specialist now wants to meet with me to understand the size of the lymph node and how it impacted all the arm pain I was having.

Anyway, now the doctors aren’t sure if any of the cancer has escaped to the lymph system, so I have to have what’s called a PET SCAN Monday morning. It’s a full body scan to make sure the cancer hasn’t spread elsewhere and I’m not Stage 4 – only Stage 3 as they have hoped.

My first visit yesterday was to my breast surgeon. She did another biopsy in her office on the area of origin. I won’t lie – it hurt like hell. Felt like she was bearing down right into my chest. I cried of course.

Next was the visit to the oncologist. Where we are both frustrated is the receptor study results are still not back from the lab in California. These results determine what type of chemo drugs I get and how often. My doctor says he does not expect the results to come back positive from those, just due to the fact that only 15% of people come back with positive readings.

With that, he has outlined a course of treatment for me with the exception that if the receptor studies come back positive, he will change the course. He should know those results Monday or Tuesday at the latest.

Next steps are the PET SCAN Monday and the next Monday they want to do a baseline echogram of my heart because the cancer drugs can weaken the heart muscles.

My chemo treatments will be the following (as long as the receptor studies come back negative): once every two weeks for four months, changing the mix of drugs halfway. I will start my first chemo treatment on Thursday, July 16. My doctor feels assured that my toughest days will be the second and third day after chemo. So on my weeks I have chemo, I will have them on Thursday afternoons, work from home on Fridays (just to rest my body as much as possible), then my bad days should be that Saturday and Sunday, so I can be ready for the next work week ahead. I want to continue to work during this process. I know my energy will be lower and I know I won’t be able to do all the overtime hours I used to, but it’s important to me to keep working. I love my job and think it will be a good distraction for me and something else to focus on.

I will listen to my body and try to bring my lunch each day and nap for 30-45 minutes where I had used to go out to lunch. My mom went to the nutritionist this week and we cleaned out my pantry and refrigerator last night. There will be only healthy eating for me the next four months and probably little to no eating out. Trying to avoid any processed foods and eat as organic as possible. I got upset a little bit checking out of the store last night as my buggy was full of crap I’ve never bought before. And let me tell you, the healthy organic food never goes on sale so my bill was pretty high.

I cried before bed last night. Just overwhelmed at how much my life is changing and how much I will be losing in this process. I’m proud of myself for the positive attitude I’ve had most days, but some days it is too much to process – between the two doctors visits, the biopsy that hurt, the unanswered receptor study, having to do two more tests and the changes in my kitchen, it just overwhelmed me to tears.

Today is the shorter hair cut and visits to two wig shops. Hopefully, I will find something I like.

I’ve also had people ask if I had a registry somewhere. I registered for a few things on http://www.headcovers.com/. You have to enter in my first and last name, plus my email address, which I used the marcylscott@gmail.com address.

On a funny note, a few of my high school girlfriends came over and brought me dinner on Thursday night. Beth showed up in a trench coat and said she had surprise for me. She threw the jacket off and underneath she was dressed in our Trickum Middle School cheerleading uniform. The wench can still fit into it – barely, but she got it buttoned, so props to her. We all had a big laugh. They were so sweet – kept my mind off things and was a fun evening of laughing and reminiscing. (see photo above).

Also, save the date – August 8. I’ve got some great friends working on a fundraiser in my honor to help with my medical expenses and what I can’t use will be donated to breast cancer research. It will be called “Think Pink” and is being held at Opera. Michelle Muessle-Dauble is spearheading this along with many others, so I am very grateful. I wasn’t for it at first, as I don’t like to be the center of attention for anything, but have come to realize that I need help and have many people in my life who want to help in some way and this hopefully will be a fun and positive event for all. So be looking for a pink outfit – I think a prize will be give for the best one. I’m actually looking really forward to it now and hope to get to see many of my friends there.

I will post a picture of the new haircut later.

Thanks for all your love and support!

With love,
Marcy