Boom, Boom, Cow!

I’m sorry it has taken me so long to update my blog. I haven’t for a couple reasons: 1) my arms haven’t allowed me to get on a computer until a couple of days ago and 2) I just haven’t had the energy to recap the whole surgery until now, plus I had two doctors’ appointments yesterday and I really wanted to wait until I had them so I could give you all the updated information.

The mastectomy surgery with expander insertion and lymph node dissection was much harder and painful than anyone could have prepared me for. When trying to explain it to friends and family, I told them it felt like a bomb went off in my chest from one underarm area, across my chest to the other. I stayed in the hospital for two nights and was discharged on Saturday, Nov. 21st. I couldn’t take care of myself at all, so instead of going home to my house, I went to my parents’ house. Since I couldn’t lift myself in and out of bed, they had recliners in their house and that’s where I stayed for most of the first week. Every day I progressed a little bit more and more. I had considerable pain in my left underarm area from the armpit to the elbow and the doctors said that was normal due to the removal of the lymph nodes. It took three days before I could even use the lever for the legs to get me in and out of the recliner. The best I can explain is the drains they have in me limits the mobility of my arms – I can’t reach over my head or down to my toes. And the expanders they have in my chest feel like a steel bra and I can’t roll my shoulders in. Just yesterday I was finally able to put on socks without help. I’m meeting with a lymphadema specialist Friday to help with the pliability of the expanders while they are in.

The plastic surgeon also had to do skin grafts to make the surgery more successful for my muscles, since all the breast tissue around them was removed. After the surgery, my mom told me he used cow tongue for the skin grafts. I said, “Great, bring the cow jokes on now.” Although, if anyone ever calls me a “fat cow” now, I can reply, “Why, thank you!” since cows are supposed to be fat!

I’m still forced to sleep on my back – I cannot use my sides at all and since I’m a stomach sleeper normally, it has been tough. For almost a week, I couldn’t lift myself out of bed once I was in it. I also had to get up each night at 3 a.m. to take medicine. Since it hurt to yell because of my chest area, I would whistle from my bed and out sweet boxer Brunswick, would start whining and go get my mom up to come help me. Normally, he follows my mom around the house, but that first week, he would sleep on the floor of the den while I was in the recliner keeping me company. One day I was crying because I was in so much pain and he got up and started giving me kisses – he hated to see my upset. He’s been my little angel while I’ve been here.

Two of my four drains came out last Friday. What a great doctor – he came in the Friday after Thanksgiving when the office was closed to take them out. I can’t believe how lucky I have been in getting such great doctors. The other two drains come out this Friday, so I’ll be back to work this Monday. I had thought I would go back to work today or tomorrow, but he said I could not go back to work until the two final drains came out and he was right; I’m still not self-sufficient. I’m hoping I can at least try sleeping on my side when the drains come out. I won’t be able to sleep on my stomach until my implants get put in and that will be many months away now. I’m also hoping by tomorrow or Friday I can finally bathe on my own without help from my mother. She’s been my rock, helping me every step of the way.

So here’s the big news everyone has been waiting for. My breast surgeon called with the pathology report. There are 18 lymph nodes in my armpit and one in my breast. They took out a total of six lymph nodes -- the one from my breast and five from the armpit. She said that the chemo did a kick ass job and all the tests came back with reading free of cancer. All the tissue on my right breast was clear and they got all the tissue on the left side.

Because my cancer was in the lymph system, they don't want to take any chances, so they want to do radiation just in case some little cell is stuck somewhere in the lymphatic system surrounding the breast. I met my radiation oncologist yesterday and he is amazing. He’s been doing this for 25 years – he’s so knowledgeable and has a great beside manner. I know I will be in great care under his watch. I see him again on the 21st of December. He will make sure all my incisions are healed properly, that I have proper range of motion to be able to lay comfortably with both arms behind my head. Once those criteria are met, then they will make a mold and take measurements for my treatments. He said that we will do 28 to 33 sessions and he believes we can start right after Christmas; I will go every weekday until complete. The biggest concern he has is since we are radiating the left side, it is very close to my heart, so he will be involved every step of the way to protect my heart and make sure it does not get hit with any of the radiation beams. Also, side effect wise that I should expect to be sunburned and experience fatigue. He said I should have no problems working through this timeframe, but I would be going to bed early each night due to the fatigue and it gets worse the more treatments I get. He also said I would be very prone to viral infections, so I would need to stay away from large crowds, etc., so I’m back to being in prison again – going to work and home only and I can’t go anywhere else. That’s the part that is most difficult for me – having my normal life taken away from me for so long and not being able to do what my body wants to do.

They make it really easy though to go every day for the radiation. They only want it to take 20 minutes total out of your day. They let you park in the Emergency Room parking area at Piedmont. You go in, it takes about eight minutes to set the room up and I’ll be radiated for only two to three minutes. They have early morning appointments starting at 7:30 a.m., so I hope it won’t eat into my workday much. I’m keeping a positive attitude about the radiation. Even though it wasn’t the outcome I wanted, I’m under the care of such an amazing doctor and they really do want to make it as easy as they can on me.

I feel so much stronger after chemotherapy and this surgery. Someone asked me how I was doing after the surgery and I said, “I’m bruised and battered, but not broken. Give me anything now – I can take it on.” I never dreamed I had this strength in me. I honestly thought this surgery was even harder than my chemotherapy, which is why I’m okay with having to go through the radiation now. Bring it on, I can do anything now. You can’t break me.

I saw my oncologist yesterday too. I thanked him for shrinking so much of my cancer with the chemotherapy, which made for a much successful surgery. My breast surgeon was just singing his praises as it made her job much easier for removing the cancer. He said as it stands right now, I’m cancer free. I will continue to see him over the next 10 years for follow up and I’m thankful to have such a great doctor. In fact, all my doctors at Piedmont Hospital have been amazing. I am truly blessed to have such a great healthcare team.

Once the radiation is complete, then I’ll start scheduling my hysterectomy and the breast reconstruction phases. I’m not sure when all of it will be complete, but I want to get all of these procedures done as soon as I can, so I can get this phase of my life over with and get back to being me again!

Lastly, right after the surgery, I noticed that almost all my eyebrows and eyelashes were gone. My left eye had only two lashes and my right eyebrow had three stands left. I was really bummed. It also made it hard to put my contacts in. But surprisingly, while I’ve been home recuperating, my hair is starting to come back. I have some peach fuzz growing on my head and eyebrows, so I’m excited about that, even though I know it will be awkward growing it out. The only thing I’m not looking forward to is having to start shaving my legs again!

Thank you everyone for the flowers, cards, balloons, food, emails and phone calls of support and concern. It meant so much. One of the sweetest gifts I received was from one of my best friends who lives next door to me. Not only has she been feeding my cats and plants while I’ve been at my parents for two weeks, but she decorated my Christmas tree as that was the one thing I didn’t get a chance to do before my surgery. I stopped by my house yesterday for a few things between doctor appointments and just started crying when I saw it. It was such a thoughtful thing to do and it makes coming home tomorrow even sweeter.

Love to you all!

Marcy