I know in my last blog, I was really down. Sometimes you just have those days. Fortunately, I haven’t had many of them and have managed to stay positive most of the time. However, when Oct. 22 rolled around, I was in a GREAT mood. It was my last chemo and I was ready to celebrate having that behind me. Even though I knew I technically wasn’t “done” with chemo because I hadn’t suffered through the side effects, it would be the last time that I would have to do either.
While in my oncologist’s office, he said for the second time that I might not have to have radiation. I didn’t mention when he said it the first time because I didn’t want to get my heart set on not having to have it, only to get let down. But he said it a SECOND TIME! I’m not sure what he’s basing it on, but he’s said it twice now and that’s good enough for me. I guess it depends on the surgery and what they see on making that decision. I have a follow up appointment with him on Dec. 1 after the surgery and I guess we will wait and see what he says then. I don’t want to come this far and skimp at the end, but if he says I don’t need radiation, I won’t question him. In fact, I joked with him that if he tells me that good news, he better run because I plan on getting a running start and then leaping to give him the biggest bear hug of his life where he will land on his back on the floor. We both laughed, but seriously, that would be such great news to receive. If I do have to have radiation, it will require me to go every day, five days a week for six weeks, plus its side effects is extreme fatigue and to be quite honest, I’m tired of being tired all the time. I’d like to get this surgery over and done with and get to feeling better. Please say a prayer that I get to skip radiation.
Speaking of the surgery, we are all set for Thursday, Nov. 19. I can’t believe that’s only 2.5 weeks away. I will be out of work for two weeks and I know the recovery won’t be easy, but after enduring chemo, I feel I can take on anything.
This last chemo was the worst with the body aches by far. I had the chemo on Thursday and by Friday night the body aches had kicked in. They progressively got worse, so bad that it hurt to move by Sunday. My poor dad was with me on the Sunday and Monday following the chemo and he had to put up with my sobs. I know it sucks for a man to sit there and stare at someone he loves and cannot do anything to help. I know he was very uncomfortable and it hurt me to see the look on his face knowing he wanted to take my pain away. I worked from home Monday and Tuesday, sitting with my legs straight out, as from my knees down hurt. Wednesday, I went to the office (having a co-worker drive me) and worked from the office couch in the same position. By Thursday, I could drive myself to work and by Friday, I could walk without being in excruciating pain. I spent Saturday and Sunday with my parents for Halloween, just because I didn’t want to be alone – I was having one of those “I want my mommy” days. There’s nothing like having your mom take care of you. I actually had a great weekend with my parents and the family dog, and even took my first walk in weeks. As of right now, my hands and feet are still in pain, but it is bearable. The feeling is a combination of pain and numbness. I can’t wait until I have a day when I’m pain free – I’m not sure what that would be like.
I’m still trying to be careful and avoid crowds because I don’t want to get sick before my surgery. I know this surgery is going to have a tough recovery (they say it takes two weeks to even get to 90%) and I want to be as strong as I can be going into it. I’m still battling fatigue, so I’m still taking my naps during the day and going to bed early each night. I’m trying to stay as busy as possible before the surgery, just because each time I think about it, I start to get upset. I will work every weekday leading up until the surgery, so that will help to keep my mind occupied.
I’m trying to look at the bright side of the surgery, not only do I not have to do my hair anymore, I won’t have to wear a bra either. Boy do guys have it easy! The one thing that bums me out is I initially didn’t lose my eyelashes or eyebrows when my hair fell out, but for some reason over the past few weeks, they have started to go away. I have stopped wearing mascara for fear all my eyelashes will fall out and then how will I put in my contacts?
I know I haven’t blogged in awhile --- this last go round with the pain was the worst, so I’m sorry. Thanks to everyone who keeps sending me notes of encouragement; it really does help – putting a smile on my face and lifting my spirits up. I’ve got two more doctor appointments before the surgery so I will blog if I have any news coming out of those.
Gotta run – my hands are cramping up some as it hurts to type. Love to you all!
Love,
Marcy
While in my oncologist’s office, he said for the second time that I might not have to have radiation. I didn’t mention when he said it the first time because I didn’t want to get my heart set on not having to have it, only to get let down. But he said it a SECOND TIME! I’m not sure what he’s basing it on, but he’s said it twice now and that’s good enough for me. I guess it depends on the surgery and what they see on making that decision. I have a follow up appointment with him on Dec. 1 after the surgery and I guess we will wait and see what he says then. I don’t want to come this far and skimp at the end, but if he says I don’t need radiation, I won’t question him. In fact, I joked with him that if he tells me that good news, he better run because I plan on getting a running start and then leaping to give him the biggest bear hug of his life where he will land on his back on the floor. We both laughed, but seriously, that would be such great news to receive. If I do have to have radiation, it will require me to go every day, five days a week for six weeks, plus its side effects is extreme fatigue and to be quite honest, I’m tired of being tired all the time. I’d like to get this surgery over and done with and get to feeling better. Please say a prayer that I get to skip radiation.
Speaking of the surgery, we are all set for Thursday, Nov. 19. I can’t believe that’s only 2.5 weeks away. I will be out of work for two weeks and I know the recovery won’t be easy, but after enduring chemo, I feel I can take on anything.
This last chemo was the worst with the body aches by far. I had the chemo on Thursday and by Friday night the body aches had kicked in. They progressively got worse, so bad that it hurt to move by Sunday. My poor dad was with me on the Sunday and Monday following the chemo and he had to put up with my sobs. I know it sucks for a man to sit there and stare at someone he loves and cannot do anything to help. I know he was very uncomfortable and it hurt me to see the look on his face knowing he wanted to take my pain away. I worked from home Monday and Tuesday, sitting with my legs straight out, as from my knees down hurt. Wednesday, I went to the office (having a co-worker drive me) and worked from the office couch in the same position. By Thursday, I could drive myself to work and by Friday, I could walk without being in excruciating pain. I spent Saturday and Sunday with my parents for Halloween, just because I didn’t want to be alone – I was having one of those “I want my mommy” days. There’s nothing like having your mom take care of you. I actually had a great weekend with my parents and the family dog, and even took my first walk in weeks. As of right now, my hands and feet are still in pain, but it is bearable. The feeling is a combination of pain and numbness. I can’t wait until I have a day when I’m pain free – I’m not sure what that would be like.
I’m still trying to be careful and avoid crowds because I don’t want to get sick before my surgery. I know this surgery is going to have a tough recovery (they say it takes two weeks to even get to 90%) and I want to be as strong as I can be going into it. I’m still battling fatigue, so I’m still taking my naps during the day and going to bed early each night. I’m trying to stay as busy as possible before the surgery, just because each time I think about it, I start to get upset. I will work every weekday leading up until the surgery, so that will help to keep my mind occupied.
I’m trying to look at the bright side of the surgery, not only do I not have to do my hair anymore, I won’t have to wear a bra either. Boy do guys have it easy! The one thing that bums me out is I initially didn’t lose my eyelashes or eyebrows when my hair fell out, but for some reason over the past few weeks, they have started to go away. I have stopped wearing mascara for fear all my eyelashes will fall out and then how will I put in my contacts?
I know I haven’t blogged in awhile --- this last go round with the pain was the worst, so I’m sorry. Thanks to everyone who keeps sending me notes of encouragement; it really does help – putting a smile on my face and lifting my spirits up. I’ve got two more doctor appointments before the surgery so I will blog if I have any news coming out of those.
Gotta run – my hands are cramping up some as it hurts to type. Love to you all!
Love,
Marcy
I know it's tough going--but hang in there. You have a lot of good thoughts flowing your way! It's nice to see a smile on your face! Kristi
ReplyDeleteYou will be in my thoughts and prayers this week!
ReplyDeleteKim
Marcy:
ReplyDeleteI know you don't remember me but I used to work for your Dad with Berlex and I met you as a very young girl when I was meeting with him. It does not surprise me at all that he was there with you when you needed him. Even if you were not his daughter...he is that kinda guy.
Just read your last blog (11/2) and I admire you for the attitude and faith that "things will get better". I think attitude is 90% of recovery. We have so many friends with cancer and many of them are now in complete remission post-treatment. I pray that God will bless you in this way. We will keep you in our prayers.
Carl Goodrum, Wentzville, MO