Seriously?!

It’s kind of ironic that I start out my blog with “Seriously?!” this time, since it’s exactly one week before one of my favorite shows, Grey’s Anatomy, comes back on. If you watch Grey’s Anatomy, you know they use the word seriously seriously too much.

I had updated you on the two new blood clots in the last blog and the shots I’m giving myself. Unfortunately, the shots haven’t gotten any easier – it still sucks to do it and the clot pains not subsided yet. I’m hoping for some relief there soon. The doctors say 2-3 weeks for the swelling and pain to go away and four to six months for them to actually heal.

I was eager to see if this new regimen, Taxol, would be easier. It started off well on Thursday (day of treatment) and Friday, but by Saturday, I started to feel bad. Good news is the nausea is not as bad. I usually feel really nauseas in the morning, sometimes to the point of dry heaving, but I make sure I eat first thing and I’m okay. If I start to feel queasy through the day, I just make sure I eat something and it usually subsides. The bad news about Taxol is it is giving me horrid body aches. And when I say body aches, it is from head to toe --- joints, muscles, everything. Only thing I can try to relate it to is if someone ran a marathon that they never trained for and finished the whole thing (which is impossible I know), but how sore you would be the next day. It hurts to walk, to move and is just plain miserable. Thus far on this first treatment, it lasted five days. My doctors have upped my pain medicine to try to manage through it, so hopefully it will be more tolerable the next cycle. Who knows?

I had to go back to my oncologist yesterday to get my blood levels checked. They were extremely low, so I had to get a blood transfusion – first one of my life. Anemia can be a side effect of chemo and guess what? I got it! It seems that if there is a side effect, I’m bound to get it. Yesterday was very long -- we got to the doctor at 7:45 a.m. and we didn’t leave the hospital until 4 p.m. On a positive note, my mom said I looked better after the transfusion with some color in my face. I’m hoping it will improve my energy level. When I told a friend of mine who is a nurse what my blood levels were, she couldn’t believe how low it was and said it was no wonder why I had no energy at all.

I started crying with my oncologist told me I had anemia. (This is when I was like, Seriously?! What next!!!!) I just couldn’t understand why I continue to have side effect after side effect and complication after complication. All she said was some people are just very sensitive and I’m just one of those people. She was very sympathetic and said she was very sorry that I was having such a hard time. She said some people breeze through it and it’s not that bad and I’m one of those patients whose body just can’t handle it well.

At this point, the only thing that keeps me positive is that I have three more treatments and I’m done. THREE MORE! I’m over halfway and if I can just manage through seven more weeks, I’ll be done with the worst part of treatment. There’s plenty more to come, but I believe that if I’ve been able to get through chemo, everything else I’ve got to do can’t be anywhere near as painful.

Next up is meeting with the plastic surgeon that will be involved in my mastectomy surgery and will do the reconstruction. I’ve heard from a couple of breast cancer survivors that he’s the rock star of breast reconstruction, so I think I’m in good hands.

I pray that next week I’ll get a bit of a break and have a few days of feeling better – praying that the body aches go away, the blood transfusion makes me feel better and the blood clot pain starts to decrease.

That’s all I have for now and let’s hope I don’t have anymore of those unexpected “Seriously?!” moments.

With love,
Marcy